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Life is a long, wondrous and continuous introduction to yourself.

The act of creation — it leads me to unknown places. Only to make me realize that all was known, always. And yet, I live every day with the hope that I’ll explore, create and grow into someone new. Because what’s life if not a long, wondrous and continuous introduction to yourself.

In this journey, music lives by my side. I find melody in my writing, and a lot of writing in my melodies. Sometimes, I hear songs in the bubbles of boiling tamarind water. Or in the stroke of red paint over the canvas. Or in the giggles of a child after a good joke. Tunes find their way even into my boredom, curiosity and the thoughts in between. And a rhythm taps into my sorrow, so it can take the leap to laughter.

Such is music. Such is life — yours and mine.

Hello!

The second best healer

"Last week I probably slept an average of two hours a night. ... I couldn't stop thinking. My body was exhausted, and my mind was still going."  Heath Ledger told Lyall during his short, sleepless life. As a child, I had zero tolerance for a day without 8 hours of sleep. Even 7.5 hrs will let the missing 30 minutes make me slog through classes and be less attentive in the interactive sessions. However, mid-life brought with itself a new awakening. Emotional highs and lows made my hyperactive brain take over my self-discipline.

I lost sleep every day, with every minute, with every second and with every memory; and eventually, the memory itself.

Today, every time I'm home alone, my energies are put to test. I fight for one good night's sleep. I run, bike, exercise and do a lot of it to exhaust myself and sleep; but every theory fails when my brain starts dancing and shows me all sorts of creatures. The emptiness of the house becomes a dark social gathering. But somewhere between the madness, when I do get some sleep, I sit & analyse to arrive at a reason.

Looks like love, care and affection are integral to my sense of security. I can't sleep unless am assured that everything will be fine. It's the warmth of guard that gives me some peaceful sleep. You might think that I need someone 'close' for this. Well, only people I trust can give me cover. It's like being a baby who needs a comforting lap, a lullaby and some patting in rhythm to fall asleep. And every time someone comes to comfort me, I upgrade them to the level of an angel.

Having said this, it's not that I'm sleeping enough even with my angels around. I have slept on an average of 4.5hrs for the last 1 year and I can see the insomnia taking a toll on my health and productivity. I have decided to learn to shut the brain up and let my body rest for long enough.

To begin with, I have stopped keeping an alarm for the past 1 week. I am going to learn and follow few more things from this great research report : http://www.supermemo.com/articles/sleep.htm

There is so much more sleeplessness to fix. But for now, I am writing after a comfortable 7 hour-sleep last night and I'm reminded of someone telling me this long ago,

"Sleep is the second best healer, the first being love!"

Sleep well

UncategorizedKavita