“Why does tragedy exist? Because you’re full of rage.”

“Why are you full of rage? Because you’re full of grief.”

• Anne Carson, Grief Lessons: Four Plays by Euripides

Out of an immersive writing session about transitions, this quote struck with me.

Unrelated, today, I wrote about my first Piano lesson and the creative mentor I discovered through that. My piano training began with “Numb by Linkin Park”. So, as I finished writing about it, I searched YouTube to listen to the song. Unaware, I discovered Chester Bennington is gone and then read more about his untimely death.

I was already in pieces writing about my creative mentor and crying over a lost sense of expression. However, to read about artists struggling with relationships with others and themselves provided some solidarity. It brought back the realization that self-expression and self-awareness is unsustainable to keep up with. Earlier, I had overcome it by losing myself into the people and purposes of the life around me. Disintegrating myself into everything and everyone.

However, now, the matter around is devoid of interactions. And there’s a call for a new approach to reconnect with life.

In the beginning of this year, I had decided to stop the fight — with unfortunate events and realities, with unfavorable consequences, and with what you get instead of what you want.

I will honor that decision and let the tearful stories take away the lingering pain.